


Another Nightmare

by robertstanion



Series: PEIPHQ Shenanigans [31]
Category: Black Friday - Team StarKid
Genre: Flashback, Gen, M/M, Nightmare, PTSD, family au, like mentioned smut for that opening scene, loss of a parent, non binary character, non verbal autistic character, they dont fuck but it deserves a warning, xander is from the black and white au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:15:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26451721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robertstanion/pseuds/robertstanion
Summary: When Phoenix screams the house down, neither of their parents leave their side, and damn are they grateful after what they had to rewitness
Relationships: John McNamara/Xander Lee, The McNamander family and their two kids
Series: PEIPHQ Shenanigans [31]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1764349
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	Another Nightmare

**Author's Note:**

> hello !! fun fact, Phoenix's personality and identity is heavily based on my own, but Phoenix is ten times a badder bitch
> 
> and she gets a gf and a motorbike at a later date so
> 
> anyway this is based off an idea i was given a long long while back and during my 11 pm inspiration burst i went eh fuck it. 
> 
> tws:  
> ptsd, house fire, flashbacks, being pinned to a wall

One second he was having a conversation with his husband, and the next he was being pinned against the wall, hands on the other’s waist, lips against his skin. He shut his eyes and tilted his head back at the sensation, sighing softly. “Alexander, it is 2300 hours, you are aware?”

“Oh, definitely.”

John could feel Xander’s smirk without having to see it. He also felt Xander begin to play with John’s belt, and Xander knew he wanted it discarded. He unbuckled it himself and tugged it out of his jeans, allowing it to hit the floor, which gave Xander a slight more freedom than what he’d had a few moments ago. Xander kept his hand pressed firmly to John’s hip, continuing to suckle on the bare skin on his husband’s neck that was quickly turning purple. He couldn’t help but laugh.

“And you’re the one to come into PEIP and call _who_ a horny bastard?”

“Most of the time, it’s you begging to be pushed against a wall. Let me have this one moment.”

John smiled and let his hands roam to Xander’s back, resting there as he tilted his head further back against the wall. “You’re a tease.”

“But you love it.”

“Never in my life have I specified I enjoy being teased. Many a time, I have declared my love for you.”

“Don’t simp during sex.”

“What is simping? You never told me.” John huffed until Xander hit his sweet spot on his neck, which shut him up as he sucked in a sharp breath. He whispered a curse, and soon felt Xander’s hands snake up his shirt, feeling up his muscles, and John bit his lip to keep quiet. “We are nearly forty.”

“And? When have we ever chosen to act our age?”

Xander bought up a good point as he pulled away from the general, tossing his shirt beside his bed. “You come here now, sweetheart.”

John knew what to do. He felt himself being lifted up by Xander, and he wrapped his legs around him, securing them both in a kiss, as he was carried over to the bed, and also dropped on to the covers. He scuttled back and lay against the pillows as Xander climbed on top, still clothed, and kissed John again, but neither seemed to mind. With two kids, it was rare they got a moment to themselves. Usually, they’d act like kids in the sense Xander would burst into John’s office and they’d fuck there, or it would be the other way around, but that was usually the only time they could…be alone.

If they were at home, and the kids were still at school, they’d have to be quick, especially at the end of date nights when Phoenix had to take care of their younger brother. They were an amazing kid, but sometimes, John felt that him and Xander relied to hard on them, and that the task, one day, would be too hard to handle. Still, Fay stepped up to the plate with ease, and they did a wonderful job of it.

On top of taking care of their younger brother, Phoenix also, somehow, managed to maintain top grades, which they could only assume came from John’s assistance in Physics, and Xander’s in everything else. They explicitly told their dad that without their help, they wouldn’t have been passing any classes, because the both of them explained it better than any of their teachers ever did, and that warmed the McNamander’s hearts.

But it wasn’t just Phoenix who had a colourful personality either. Jasper, the youngest of the bunch, was also starting to come out of his they’ll a lot more now. He didn’t get scared as often, and managed to stay in his room most nights. If he was struggling and needed some extra love and support to send him to sleep, he’d choose Xander over everything. To have a male role model in his life who looked like him was a key thing that helped with Jasper’s development, John found, and he found Jasper babbling more to Xander than to anyone else. Sure, it was incoherent noises, but it was his and Xander’s own conversation neither John nor Phoenix dared interrupt.

It was their family, and John fucking loved them.

They were also working on getting pets again, considering his squadron of kittens had died a few years earlier at an old age. Blimmy had died in John’s lap, and John had sobbed for days, and had to take time off work. He never realised how attached he got to the cats, but Blimmy was the downfall. It had been Xander to suggest getting new pets, but John still felt horrible about replacing Blimmy, so he was still on edge about it. He’d weighed the pros and cons in an even scale and was slowly coming to a conclusion, though he didn’t know what that was yet.

But, back to the point, Xander pulled out of the kiss again, giving them both a chance to breathe, as he ripped off his own shirt, but after, he tore off his work jeans. John wasn’t hiding the fact he was eyeing him up. How could he not when there was a perfect specimen before him?

Xander had always taken pride in his body. He never showed it off deliberately, but if there was ever a chance to flaunt it, then he would. That’s why he loved pride a lot, because he loved the attention he got from other gay men. That had been another thing that became normal for him and Xander over the years. They went to pride, and John became more confident as himself. He started competing with Xander over “who could have the gayest outfit.” Xander won last June because he wore eyeliner in the different colours of the rainbow. John declared Xander cheated, because John can’t apply eyeliner even if he tried, but it was only an impractical joke for the both of them.

With a smile, Xander lay back on top of John and brushed his hair out of his face, kissing him again as John’s legs parted pretty instinctively.

And then came the scream.

It broke both men out of whatever spell they’d been cast under, and John’s eyes shot to the door after he sat bolt upright. “Pen,” he told himself, getting off the bed, grabbing his shirt, and rushing to make himself professional. “God, god I feel _shit.”_

“John-“

“They needed us and-“

“John-!”

“And we were being animals in there, I _knew_ something was off when they came in the door!” He didn’t wait for Xander as he took his hair down, hoping it would cover the bruises on his neck that were fresh, a palette of deep browns, purples and reds that bled against teeth marks. He flipped the lights on outside of their room as he ran down the hallway, and, without hesitation, rushed into Phoenix’s room, and looked at his teenage daughter as he flicked on the lights there too.

They were crying. That was the first thing John noticed. Then he zoomed in on detail, and saw their quivering under the blanket they had themself wrapped under. Their shoulders were rising and falling far too quickly, which only assisted John to confirm they was having a panic attack.

His heart sank for their as he sat beside their on the bed, his movements soft, like a leaf against the wind, and he offered them to move into his arms. “Hey, hey, Fay- Phoenix, you’re okay. You’re okay, you’re home.”

He didn’t take his eyes off of his daughter as he watched their fiery eyes, now hidden behind the cold thin sheet of tears that extinguished their regular personality, glance over to him. As soon as they realised that they were safe, they didn’t hesitate to move into their father’s arms, and let themself be comforted.

John wrapped both arms around them tightly, rocking them against his chest as he let them sob. They needed someone right now, and he could tell that they were scared, so he’d be the sense of protection that they needed. His arms were there for them to feel safe in, and he was hoping it was working. With every sob that came out of their mouth, John’s heart broke a little bit more, but maybe that was a paternal instinct kicking in, it was heard to tell. He checked the time on his watch, and it was still only a few minutes after 11 PM, so it wasn’t too late. He then twitched his nose in frustration, realising that school was the least of his concerns for Phoenix right now. He was calling in sick for them first thing in the morning. Panic attacks had a dreadful aftermath the next day for some people, and he had no idea how Fay was going to react to their own.

If Phoenix had had a panic attack before, they’d hidden it pretty well from someone who had panic attacks on a regular basis and had to be comforted by Xander wherever they went. He’d gotten past the crying stage, but sometimes he got so scared, and sometimes, he felt like that one particular panic attack was going to be the end of him, that he couldn’t help but cry. It scared him. Everything scared him when he was at his lowest.

John rubbed Phoenix’s back through their blanket, and moved their hair out of the way so he didn’t accidentally get his hand caught and hurt them further. He didn’t want to feel like the bad guy even if he already did. He looked down to Phoenix after a while, and though the sobbing had died down, they were still crying, and they were still shaking. John sat up straighter and moved Phoenix into his lap so he could hug them properly. “Do you think you are ready to talk yet?” He asked them gently, and he heard the shaky breath and he felt the juddering shoulders before they spoke.

“Dad…I-I was back at the house…and mama…she…she grabbed me and ran out. And I felt the heat on my face, and my throat hurts because I was screaming for her…”

“What about Jasper?” John asked gently, and he felt Phoenix tense in his grasp, and he immediately felt even worse than he had before.

“Mama didn’t grab Jasper before...Jasper was only a baby…and she ran into the house again…and then the last thing I remember is mama smashing a window and she held Jasper, and a small bag full of things for us…I ran under the window as she dropped Jasper, and I caught him and let the bag clash to the floor but mama-“

This was more than a panic attack, and it was certainly more than a nightmare. John knew, based off of experience, that they more than likely had PTSD. They’d seen so much at such a young age, and he wasn’t surprised that the event had scarred them. So much had happened to their before, and, whether the dream was real or not, or whether it _was_ a flashback, it didn’t matter. It was upsetting Penny, which he didn’t want.

“Dad, I don’t wanna go to sleep tonight…I’m _scared.”_ Their voice became meeker on the last word as they buried into the comfort of John’s chest.

Out of honesty, he wasn’t sure what to say, so he held their in silence. A few minutes later, he heard footsteps from the door, and saw superhero dad of the year, Xander James Lee-McNamara, holding their son, who was in a similar situation to Penny, wrapped in a tight blanket, except he wasn’t crying. He was squeaking anxiously, and John could tell the difference by that stage. He looked at Xander and bit his cheek, basically asking for help, and Xander smiled gently.

“Fay? I was gonna take myself and Jasper downstairs and set up beds on the floor in the living room, and we were wondering if you and dad wanted to do the same thing?” He asked, and John sighed a slight sigh of relief. Thank _God_ Xander had a situation, because he hadn’t.

He looked down to Penny and smiled softly. “A family sleepover, hey? Do you think that’ll help? Even if it’s just a little bit?”

“But it isn’t the weekend…it’s a Tuesday…and I have school tomorrow-“

“Don’t worry about school, dear. You’re taking the day off tomorrow, and whatever work you’ve missed me, and papa can help you catch up on. Now, how about we go downstairs, put a movie on or-“

“No movie. Just cuddles,” Phoenix confirmed as they gripped John tighter.

John nodded and stood, lifting Penny with him, as he walked over to Xander. “Mr Lee-McNamara, care to lead the way?”

“Gladly, General McNamara-Lee.” Xander kissed John’s nose, and Phoenix’s hair, before talking in hushed whispers to Jasper as they made their way downstairs.

Once down, Xander set Jasper on the couch, and walked to the other room, returning with thick blankets for the lot of them and air mattresses. It didn’t take too long before the living room was covered in air mattresses alongside each other. Rightfully, the two adults took the bigger one, and Penny took the one beside John, Jasper crawling on to the one beside Xander…and then on Xander. Xander chuckled and kissed Jasper’s forehead and looked to John.

“Should I do the thing?”

“You should do the thing,” John confirmed and kissed Xander softly as he looked back to Phoenix. “Hey, Pen, watch papa.” It caused their head to poke out from their blankets, to see Xander’s eyes glow a sharp blue, and soft blue crystal-like projections appear around their in the air. There almost seemed to be a comforting hum that ejected from them, and they buried back under the duvet, letting their eyes flicker shut. Before long, they were asleep, as was Jasper.

John sighed a sigh of relief and nuzzled against Xander’s chest after Xander placed Jasper in his bed. “They had a flashback, I’m pretty sure. I wasn’t gonna make their talk to me about it yet.”

“Yeah, I get that,” Xander said and stretched his arm to wrap around John. “So much for the sex.” He sighed dramatically, and John tiredly punched his arm.

“Tomorrow, maybe. Now sleep.”

“Okay, okay, I’m just messing around anyways.” He laughed lightly and, with heavy eyes, looked at his husband. “Goodnight John. I love you.”

“I love you more, Zee.”

“I love you the most.”

“That’s highly debatable.”

“I don’t think it is.”

“As your general-“

“Oh god, not the general card.”

“I am ordering you to shut the fuck up and go to sleep.” He pecked Xander’s lips again before he closed his eyes, nestling into him so he was comfy. “Sleep well.”

“I will, but worry about yourself.”

It wasn’t long before Xander fell asleep, and the crystals vanished and, once again, the McNamander household was silent and still once again. Things may not be okay 100% of the time, but they sure liked to hope they’d be eventually. They knew, as long as they had each other, they’d be fine. They _were_ fine, all of them. They were family.

**Author's Note:**

> normalise xander lee being the horny bastard-
> 
> kudos and comments are appreciated because this isn't a songfic


End file.
